As a successful businessman, Chad couldn’t believe it when his wife suggested they should get a divorce. He knew things were bad. After all, they were fighting all the time and both of them were clearly not happy. But, Chad knew he was not emotionally prepared for the end of his marriage.
Chad was facing what many people face when a divorce is coming: loads of fear. He was scared of the big changes to come and worried that he might do something stupid that would cost him for years to come. He was scared for his future, for his assets and money, and most importantly, the effect a divorce would have on his children.
Divorce is such an emotional experience it’s easy to get lost and overwhelmed. In order to help your children and yourself get through the process, it’s important for you to emotionally prepare yourself for what’s to come. Your ability to make good decisions and assist your attorney effectively will go a long way towards bringing needed peace of mind.
The Children Come First
Many parents choose to stay in unhappy, unhealthy marriages for fear that they will scar the children for life if they end the marriage. The truth is that a marriage that is constantly filled with anxiety and anger is unstable, and the children will be better off when that situation ends.
Just as the court will base its decisions on what is best for the children, you need to do the same. You don’t have to be the perfect parent — you just need to show some empathy for what they are going through and be a good listener when they need to talk. Let them know that you receive the messages they are sending, that you know the situation is tough for them and that you are going to be a part of their life no matter what.
It goes without saying that you should not talk trash about your ex in front of your children. It’s wrong to put them in the middle and it will definitely bite you in court.
When It Comes To Money, Don’t Play Possum
If you live in the South, you’re sure to come across an opossum from time to time. When the animal senses danger, it freezes and plays dead in the hopes that whatever is a threat will just go away and leave it alone.
When many people know they are about to get divorced, they play possum with their finances. They take no action in the hopes that the court will sort it all out for them and they will be OK. This is the worst thing you can do.
When it comes to money, it’s OK to feel angry and hurt. But, you need to accept that change is coming. The faster you accept the new reality, the better you will be at coping with the changes that are coming.
That means, instead of sitting around worrying, start getting all your financial documents together and organized. Talk to your attorney about what to do about your joint accounts and any investment/savings accounts you may have. Get the facts about what steps to take and what actions may hurt you in court. Be proactive. It’s all about accepting the change and rolling with it.
Build A Support Team To Help Emotionally Prepare Yourself
It’s tempting when you’re going through a divorce to feel drained and helpless. Worrying about your health, the wellbeing of your children and your legal and financial status can take a lot out of you.
That’s why it’s important to have a support team, a group of people you can lean on and talk to when things get tough. You need a group of people who can remind you daily that there is a light at the end of the tunnel and that you have people you can count on, even when you are in a very stressful situation.
One of the members of your support team should be a competent, caring attorney. Family Matters Law Group knows how to prepare clients for divorce or help see them through a case that has already been filed. If you are in the Atlanta metro area, particularly Henry, Clayton, or Fayette counties, and need a strong advocate for your divorce case, contact us today by phone or online contact form. We look forward to hearing your story and fighting for you!
