As much as we all wish our custody battle would be smooth sailing, sometimes our ex can cause so much trouble, it makes us pray for deliverance. If you feel like your custody case is taking years off your life, it’s time to reevaluate how you’re approaching the case. It’s not going to do you or your children any favors if you’re stressed beyond belief.
At Family Matters Law Group, we’ve seen the toll a high conflict custody case can inflict on parents and children alike. Here are some tried and true ideas to help you if you’re embroiled in daily conflict with an ex-spouse.
It’s a simple idea: you can’t possibly take care of someone else if you’re not taking care of yourself. To be the best parent you can be, you need to look at your own situation first.
Are you surrounding yourself with positive people? A good support network can go a long way in helping to provide solid advice, as well as just being emotionally supportive and validating during a stressful custody case.
A therapist also can provide valuable feedback on how to maintain self-awareness during trying times. You can’t control other people, but you can maintain control over yourself. Practicing mindfulness and being emotionally grounded will definitely help when dealing with someone who is being manipulative or controlling.
When dealing with an ex who loves conflict, boundaries are essential. Be very clear when you are available to communicate (either by phone or by text), and when you are willing to meet in person. When you do meet in person, always meet in a public location where the risk of someone getting volatile is reduced.
This doesn’t mean you have to be inflexible and hard to deal with yourself. Sometimes, you can reduce the conflict by offering a compromise that your ex will approve, but doesn’t really cost you anything. If your ex sees that you are being flexible (at least as much as you would want them to be), it may help calm the situation down.
Write down everything that is happening with your ex in a journal. Documenting not only helps you to remember facts and things that were said (your attorney will thank you!) but also helps you to see possible patterns of behavior with your former partner.
It would be foolish to attempt to navigate a high conflict custody case by yourself. You need an attorney who has had experience in these cases and has extensive knowledge of the custody laws in your state.
Having an attorney you can trust is even more important if you reach a point where you feel your safety or the safety of your children has been compromised. It could be that you just need some coaching on how to safely talk to your volatile ex. But, it could also be that you need to consider taking out a restraining order. Either way, a good family law attorney can help.
If you’re in Henry, Clayton, or Fayette counties, there’s an experienced family law attorney waiting to talk to you at the Family Matters Law Group. We have the experience necessary to help you deal with your high conflict custody case.
To reach a caring, experienced attorney, contact the Family Matters Law Group using our convenient online contact form.